The Muskrat Skinner's Wife

This poem needs an explanation.

The three of us schedule our annual mammograms together and then celebrate by lunching out afterward. Now, instead of dealing with free-floating anxiety, we anticipate our appointment with a somewhat subdued joy.

The mammogram-scheduling lady doesn’t have the same view of our yearly appointment. Instead of rejoicing with us, she usually says something like, “Oh yes, you’re the ones who have to have your mammograms at the same time.”

Well, we explain while feeling just a bit put down, we don’t HAVE to have them together, but we’d like them together. The joy of lunching out together is severely diminished if we have to go it alone.

Scheduling gets a tad complicated with the three of us taking up a block of time. Add in all those questions to be answered – insurance numbers, doctors’ names, allergies to being seriously smushed –  and things get a little hectic.

We meet for tea at one of our homes for the express purpose of making our appointment on the phone.

This little festive event has grown over the years to the point of being tradition.  The “Hold Your Breath” tradition.

Tea for three

No excuses needed here

For tea and cookies or a beer

but this way we have lots less fear

Mammogramies, do you hear?

We meet so we can choose a date.

So we won’t have to sit and wait

In lonely splendor as we ponder

All our days both now and yonder.

We’re not too fond of being squeezed.

Here’s hoping we are not diseased.

Afterward, we’ll do the town.

We may go shopping all around.

Then out to lunch on Rt. 16.

Our appetites are pretty keen.

Our laughter is a trifle loud.

No smashed potatoes are allowed

Then our finale is a treat -

Something succulent to eat.

We’re finished now but never fear –

We’ll do it all again next year.

Diana and husband, photographer Bill Gleasner, have lived in Denver for more than 30 years. In addition to travel journalism, they have written and published two books on the Lake Norman area, “Lake Norman – Our Inland Sea” and “Lake Norman Reflections.”